I Shall Call Him Squishy And He Shall Be Mine

Okay, so you know how sometimes you just know? Like, you know that pizza is the right choice for dinner (always), or that those shoes? Yeah, those shoes are absolutely coming home with you. Well, I had one of those moments. A life-altering, earth-shattering, "I'm-never-going-to-be-the-same" kind of moment. And it all revolves around... Squishy.

Yes, Squishy. You heard me. S-Q-U-I-S-H-Y. Don't judge! I'll explain. (And you'll totally get it, I promise!).

The Quest Begins (Dun Dun Duuun!)

It started innocently enough. I was, you know, just browsing. Totally harmless browsing. Online. At a pet adoption site. You see where this is going, right? Don't act surprised. We all have our weaknesses, and mine just happens to be furry, four-legged creatures with soulful eyes. Especially when they're rescue animals.

So, there I was, scrolling through page after page of adorable pups and cuddly kittens, when BAM! He appeared. A little ball of fluff, looking utterly bewildered and impossibly cute. I swear, I heard angels sing. Maybe. Or maybe that was just the coffee kicking in. Who knows?

He was labeled "Un-named Puppy." Seriously? Un-named? That just wouldn't do. A creature of that magnitude needed a moniker. A name that reflected his... squishiness. Because, let's be honest, he looked incredibly squishable.

And that's when it hit me. Like a bolt of lightning. "I Shall Call Him Squishy And He Shall Be Mine!" It just felt… right. Perfect, even!

Operation: Get Squishy!

Okay, so naming him was the easy part. Next came the application process. Which, let me tell you, was intense. References? Check. Home visit? Incoming! Interview? I practically rehearsed my answers in the mirror. I wanted them to know, deep in their souls, that I was Squishy's destiny. That we were meant to be together. That, without me, Squishy would simply not reach his full squishy potential. Dramatic? Maybe a little. But true!

The home visit was... an experience. I cleaned like my life depended on it. You know that panic cleaning you do when you know someone’s coming over? Multiply that by ten. Did I accidentally use my toothbrush to scrub the grout in the bathroom? Maybe. No comment. The important thing is, the house was spotless. Or at least, clean enough to pass the "Squishy-approved" inspection. Fingers crossed!

The interview went surprisingly well. I think. I remember babbling a lot about how much I loved dogs (true!), how responsible I was (also true… mostly!), and how Squishy and I were going to have the most amazing life together. Did I accidentally refer to myself as Squishy’s “mommy”? Perhaps. But hey, they seemed to buy it. I think they could see the genuine love shining in my eyes. (Or maybe they were just blinded by the sheer amount of bleach I used on the bathroom. Again, no comment.)

The Day of Squishy!

And then, the call. The one I'd been waiting for. The one that would change everything. "Congratulations! Your application has been approved!" I swear, I almost fainted. I may have actually squealed. Definitely did a little happy dance. Don't judge! This was a momentous occasion!

So, now I'm preparing for Squishy's arrival. Buying all the essentials. A cozy bed. A mountain of toys. Enough treats to bribe a small army. Because let's be real, even though he's going to be mine, I still need to earn his love. It is important to remember that Squishy is the boss.

I'm also mentally preparing myself for the chaos. The potty training accidents. The chewed-up shoes. The sleepless nights. But you know what? I wouldn't trade it for anything. Because soon, very soon, my life will be complete. I'll have Squishy by my side. And that, my friends, is all that matters.

Wish me luck! And stay tuned for updates. There will be photos. Lots and lots of photos. You've been warned. 😉