If Wolfsheim Was An Animal He Would Be

Okay, picture this: we're all hanging out, casually dissecting The Great Gatsby over lukewarm coffee. Someone throws out the million-dollar question: "If Meyer Wolfsheim, that shady character with the molar cufflinks, was an animal… what would he be?"

Boom. Silence. Then, the flurry of suggestions starts. And let me tell you, some of them are WILD.

A lot of people jump straight to predatory stuff. Obvious choices, right? Let's break it down, shall we?

The Obvious Suspects: The Usual Bad Guys

The Shark. Okay, this is the "duh" answer. Ruthless, always circling, preying on the vulnerable. Wolfsheim clearly has that predatory vibe going on. He obviously made his fortune… let's just say legitimately questionable ways. He was the one who fixed the 1919 World Series, after all. So yeah, a shark works… but it's almost too on the nose, isn’t it?

The Snake. Slimy, deceptive, the master manipulator. Again, check, check, and check. Wolfsheim's a guy who operates in the shadows, pulling strings, and probably has a shed somewhere filled with ill-gotten gains. He oozes the snake energy.

The Wolf. Another obvious one, given the name similarity (though, ironically, Wolfsheim means "wolf's home" in German). But wolves are pack animals, and while Wolfsheim certainly has connections, he seems more like a lone operator. A lone wolf? Maybe. But it feels a bit… uninspired, honestly.

Time to Get a Little Weird: Thinking Outside the Zoo

Okay, let's ditch the obvious and dive into the weird. Because Wolfsheim deserves weird.

The Aye-aye. Hear me out! This lemur from Madagascar is known for its creepy, elongated middle finger which it uses to tap on trees to find insects. It's also considered a bad omen in some cultures. Wolfsheim, with his questionable fashion choices (those molar cufflinks, seriously?!) and general aura of unsettling power, definitely has a touch of aye-aye about him. Plus, that finger-tapping thing? Could totally see him doing that while plotting his next scheme.

The Octopus. Now we're talking! Highly intelligent, masters of camouflage, with the ability to squeeze into the tiniest cracks. And those tentacles? Perfect for grabbing money, influencing people, and generally having his fingers in everything. Imagine Wolfsheim casually changing color to blend in at Gatsby's parties, eavesdropping on conversations with his many ears… erm, suckers. Terrifying. But fitting.

The Honey Badger. Don't let the cute name fool you, these guys are ferocious. They literally don't care about anything. Bees stinging them? Nah. Cobras biting them? Whatever. Wolfsheim definitely has that "I'm too rich to care" attitude. He's survived in a world of gangsters and bootleggers, and that takes some serious honey badger tenacity. Plus, they're known for digging… perhaps digging up dirt on rivals?

The Shockingly Accurate Choice (According to Me): The Starling

Yep, I said it. The starling. Prepare to have your mind blown.

Starlings are incredible mimics. They can imitate almost any sound, from other birds to human speech. Wolfsheim is a master of assimilation. He adopts the language and customs of the elite while maintaining his own shadowy agenda. He's a chameleon, blending in while secretly pulling the strings.

Starlings are also incredibly adaptable. They can thrive in almost any environment, from bustling cities to quiet countryside. Wolfsheim, a man who rose from poverty to become a powerful figure in the criminal underworld, is the epitome of adaptability.

But here's the kicker: starlings are often seen as pests. They're noisy, they can be destructive, and they're generally not welcome. And let's be honest, Wolfsheim isn't exactly a beloved figure in The Great Gatsby. He's a necessary evil, a reminder of the corrupt underbelly of the Roaring Twenties.

So, there you have it. If Meyer Wolfsheim was an animal, he'd be a starling. A noisy, adaptable, mimicking pest, perfectly at home in the glittering, corrupt world of West Egg.

Now, who wants another lukewarm coffee while we ponder what animal Gatsby would be? My money's on a peacock... all show, no substance!